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Whuuuuut?

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Monday, July 25th, (I'll never forget the day) finally arrived and I was fairly calm, cool and collected because, in my mind, the results from the biopsy were going to be benign. No big deal. The call finally came in from the diagnostic center that afternoon asking me to come in to the office per "typical protocol"... Really? Couldn't they just give me the results over the phone? I'm in the middle of moving to Austin and didn't have time for these inconveniences! My husband and mom insisted on coming with me, "just in case" but again, it was a non-issue, right?

Dr. David Chan (medical oncologist) comes in, sits down at the desk and after some niceties states, "After reviewing the results of the mammogram and the biopsy, we have concluded that you have breast cancer- I'm so sorry."

"WHUUUUUT? I don't think I heard you clearly...come again?" I asked. "Yes, you have breast cancer," Dr. Chan repeated. Total silence...My mind went completely blank - I was completely stunned. I looked over at my husband and my mom - expressions of shock. Seeing the look on their faces broke my heart and then I started to cry.

Everything Dr. Chan and the nurse said after that was so faint, as if I was hearing it from a million miles away. Every paper, folder, and appointment card they handed me was as if I was viewing it through a slow motion lens. Every explanation of the diagnosis was incomprehensible. Thank God, my husband and mom were there to pick up the pieces & support me through this crushing, mind blowing news.

Whuuut in the world was happening? Whuuuut do I do? Whuuuuut next? My family needs me.

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